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Open, Semi-Open or Closed Adoption part 2

If you are considering placing your unborn child up for adoption or you’re considering adoption I hope that you read my last entry. If you did you will realize that both the adoptive and birth families have decisions to consider. The decision to participate in an open, semi-open or a closed adoption are decisions that both parties need to decide on. The first part of thinking about the decision is to consider how comfortable you are with sharing your child’s life with another person who is responsible for your child. I can see it from a few different positions. As … Continue reading →

Avoiding an Adoption Nightmare

My last blog talked about the nightmare scenario of the Baby Jessica case in the early 1990s in which courts ruled that a 2 ½ year old child would leave the parents who had raised her for 2 ½ years and go to her biological father. This case had many unusual aspects, but the media did not always make clear that the adoption was never completed—the birth father asked for custody as soon as the mother told him about the child, when the baby was under a month old. Steps to take to avoid an adoption nightmare include: • Choose … Continue reading →

Adoption Nightmares

Many Americans remember the “Baby Jessica” case. In 1993, the U.S. Supreme Court let stand a Michigan Supreme Court decision to return a child to her birth father (who was by then married to her birth mother) after two and a half years with adoptive parents who had cared for her since very soon after her birth. The case caused outrage across the country. Media accounts railed against the courts for failing to consider the best interests of the child by taking into account the trauma a move would cause her. The birth parents were portrayed as irresponsible and selfish … Continue reading →

Rituals and Ceremonies For Adoptive Families

Adoptive parents are a diverse group. On average they are slightly higher income than the general population and have a slightly higher average educational level than the general populace. They come from all religious persuasions and from none. For those adoptive parents who practice a religion, that religion can be a bonding force for their new family. Families who do not practice a religion may nonetheless seek a special ritual or celebration to mark the arrival of a child and various milestones in the adoption process and in the family’s life. Some families have entrustment ceremonies when birthparents place an … Continue reading →

“Nightmare on My Street”

I’ve written recently about my daughter Regina’s transition to kindergarten and about some extra issues that can come up for adopted children as they enter school. Now there’s a new wrinkle: Regina seems much happier at school and has mostly stopped having toileting troubles and long tantrums. However, now Meg is waking up every night with nightmares. Sometimes she is literally shaking when she wakes up. For her it has been Halloween every night for the past two weeks, it seems. She tries to snuggle into bed with us. One night I said I really wanted her to stay in … Continue reading →